A Birthday Gift For You: The Best Goddamn Chocolate Mousse Ever!

If you’re reading this blog, you’ll be pleased to know you’re among the first to arrive at the party.

What rocks about this fiesta is that it doesn’t entail any awkward standing around, wishing someone else you knew was already here while you suck down that first drink maybe a bit too fast. That only leads down a bad path, and this blog, despite the Bitch’in its title, will never leave you high and dry, hung over, or hanging on.

This party is built for fun and fancy, laced with some mind-bending ideas and advice for getting your groove on just in the nick of time.

Welcome to the Uplift Mojo Party Plan 2012. Not to be confused with Kony 2012 (although I’d like to overthrow a dictator or two and stop child abuses… without the naked public psychotic meltdown). Maybe to be a little confused with The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Uplift Mofo Party Plan (Special Secret Song Inside not included).

Chances are you know me – presently or from as far back as either of us can remember. Since it may have been a while, let me tell you a touch about me.

But enough about me, let’s talk about YOU!

What’s on your mind these days?  Notice there’s a lil’ ol’ comment area you can access by clicking on the pretty (Leave a) COMMENT link above underneath the title of this here party post. Please use it to tell me what you’re thinking about, worried about, happy about, bitched out about, or generally have to say. This blog will grow organically, and the point of the party is for us to commiserate, communicate, and get it collectively going on. Don’t be shy.  If you haven’t chugged down that first drink yet, now might be the time.

In fact, NOW IS THE TIME.

That’s why we’re all here. And to thank you for joining the party on this inaugural day for the Bitch’in Suburbia blog, I have a gift for you. No exaggeration, this is…

THE BEST GODDAMN CHOCOLATE MOUSSE EVER!

I call it Vice Mousse, cuz it has booze, coffee, and chocolate all in one delicious frothy concoction.

Note: I double this recipe when I make it for a crowd. There’s usually enough leftover to eat it by the fistful late at night when everyone’s asleep. And if a person eats by the light of the fridge and nobody sees it, there’s no caloric intake.  You’re welcome.

6 squares semisweet chocolate 2 squares unsweetened chocolate ½ cup honey 3-½ scant teaspoons instant coffee 3-½ tablespoons Triple Sec orange liquor (Cointreau is my preference – use the leftovers for a kick ass margarita) 2 cups heavy whipping cream (or 3 cups if you like to make your own whipped cream to top the mousse with)

A small container of Cool Whip (if you prefer your whipped topping as I do in a durable, paraffin-based format that lasts and lasts… probably until the next millennium)