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global warming

Bitch’in Life, Humor

The Joy of Worry


I’m in the checkout line at Trader Joe’s (when am I NOT in the checkout line at Trader Joe’s?), and I suddenly realize I’ve left my cell phone in the car. Struck by the lack of distraction, I do something that I don’t do nearly enough: I let my mind wander.

My eyes alight on the kids’ soccer ball-sized seedless watermelon in my cart, which is snuggled in between a bag of mini sweet peppers and a box of organic mixed medley cherry tomatoes. Nothing is in season, and yet everything looks amazingly cute, sweet, and perfect.

This realization fills me with panic and possibly a small existential crisis. Once I have my trusty phone back in hand, I’ll easily confirm my worst fears — that no good can come of tiny, off-season, hybrid produce. (Spoiler Alert: Survey says, True Dat on the tomatoes, and the rest I’ll leave you to worry about.)

Still in the checkout line, I am now acutely aware that when I get back to the car, my phone will likely be lit up with texts, emails, and voicemails — so now I worry, what if my kids need me? They could be home alone when an earthquake hits (that did happen), injured at practice, or just generally in need of assistance on their race to nowhere. And here I am daydreaming about GMOs and global warming read more