Browsing Tag


bikini bod
Bitch’in Life, Parenting

How to Get a Bikini Body


Step 1: Get a body (if you don’t already have one).

Step 2: Buy a bikini (if you don’t already have one).

Step 3: Put the bikini on your body and voila! You’ve got yourself a bikini body.

Step 3.5: (Don’t forget to stop giving a shit about what other people think. You didn’t care about being judged anyway — did you?)

I think by now we’ve all heard that one and all the many variations on that theme (“how to get a beach body,” “how to have a bikini ready body,” yadda yadda). I give great props to the body positivity movement because the truth is we are all beautiful.

But even Oprah loses sight here and there of the stuff we all know to be true. She might be the high priestess of loving your own “best body,” but weight loss is still what she chews on regularly — it’s both an ongoing focus of her eponymous media (200 articles and counting on and most recently, led her to put some serious cash where her mouth is with a $12.5 million investment into Weight Watchers. (And in true Oprah fashion, she maybe lost a little [26 lbs. as of the spring] but gained reportedly more than $2.5 million for each pound she’s lost. That would make me give my bod a little extra rich love, I’m just sayin’.) read more

Bitch'in Body Positivity
Best o’ the Bitch, Bitch’in Life, My Bitches

Body Positivity for the Mom Bod


As the days heat up and we all start stripping down for spring and summer, it’s high time to give it up to the Body Positivity Movement, which is all about appreciating yourself from head to toe, and accepting yourself exactly how you are.

Fat, thin, busty, flat, voluptuous, lean… stop labeling, start loving. Screw our crazy cultural norms, and get radical with the whole shebang.

And it’s not just about weight — over at Fuck Yeah Body Positivity, we’re reminded that it’s all about “reclaiming all aspects of our bodies which society has deemed unacceptable. Whether you are skinny or curvy, short or tall, light or dark skinned, clear skinned or pimpled, you are beautiful…”

This from a 22-year-old woman named Katie — I love her blog for all her enthusiasm and support. So when my 14-year-old daughter laments about her “gigantic hips,” I send her in Katie’s direction. Or in Jes Baker’s direction. (Just because I know telling the kid she’s “fat like me doesn’t necessarily help… nor does the ye olde “joys of child-bearing hips” lecture, either.) read more

Best o’ the Bitch, My Bitches, Parenting

How to Talk About Periods, Period.


I think I finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up:

I want to be a menstrual activist.

I know what you’re thinking — not another menstrual activist — but I’m telling you, there’s definitely room for more. 

Take, for example, the feminine “hygiene” biz. First off, from a marketing perspective, that is a horrible word to use when it comes to periods, which are, by nature, a bloody mess. Secondly, let’s give a big shout out to the Huffington Post for their recent expose, “Even Companies That Sell Tampons Are Run By Men.” Would any card-carrying X-chromosomal being think that BLUE LIQUID was a suitable representation of menstrual blood? Would she EVER show a woman ecstatically bounding around in a white body suit as if that’s somehow freeing ANY time of the month, but especially when it’s THAT time?

(By the way, it’s not just the pads ‘n ‘pons manufacturer Kimberly-Clark, that boasts an predominately male board of directors and senior management staff; pretty much all major companies that market to women — aside from Avon, those beautiful little bell ringers! — have Y-chromosomal thugs pulling the shots at the top levels.) read more