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Bitch’in Life

how to use yes as your ultimate kickstarter
Bitch’in Life

6 Ways to Use YES as Your Ultimate Kickstarter


It’s got just three little letters, but infinite potential when it comes to opening doors and inviting in opportunities for growth and change.

While it may not be easy to lead with, once you spit it out, you are on the path.

It works best on its own, no buts about it.

It is, by definition, a positive response that can only lead to great results. Even if the outcome is not what you wanted or expected, you are better for just taking that first step from resistance to acceptance.

Behold, the awesome power of YES.


Here’s the thing about yes, though. NO is a much safer bet much of the time. (And definitely when it’s used as a 4-letter word. I’ll totally say YES to saying NO when someone else is forcing his/her will upon you in an uncomfortable or dangerous way.)

But in the day-to-day, no is usually about grabbing the easy way out. Cuts off the risk, saves you from spinning wheels, protects you from possible rejection.

Be honest — and feel free to say NO to this — is that REALLY how you want to live your life? read more

bitch'in suburbia f words
Bitch’in Life, Humor, My Bitches

50 of My Favorite F Words


I love the F word.

In fact, I love all words that start with F.

Well, mostly all of them. I am very honestly working on the word “fifty,” which has been a hard one to allow to roll off the tip of my tongue and embrace with my whole heart. But after today, I feel like I can drop that load and move on to more important things, like cracking the code for world peace or meditating on the meaning of life.

For now, though, an exercise in F words feels like a positive distraction and a fun little listicle that I’d love you to join in on (so comment below). For the record, here are my fifty favorite F words, in no real order:

50) Fascination: I find that fascination is an excellent distraction. Once you hook onto something interesting that captures your attention and piques your curiosity, it’s much more likely you’ll finish the task at hand. Or at least have a chance at grabbing a little passion for what you’re doing.

49) Father: While I’m not so happy with the frequency my dad kicks my butt in Words with Friends, I am happy to know that his genetics allow me to pay that butt kicking forward. Also, I will always be my dad’s little girl, and that is the ultimate safety net and blessing. read more

secrets of sisterhood
Bitch’in Life, My Bitches

7 Stunning, Sacred Secrets of Sisterhood


There is a ’hood where we women all live.

When things are going well, it’s normally an easy destination; a comfortable place to plop down, pour a cup of tea or glass of wine or a couple of fingers of whiskey, and let it all hang out. The perfect place to pitch a tent and stay for a while. (Which is exactly why I — and maybe you, too — will always be a camper =)

Other times it’s a safe space; a haven for us to flee to when times are rough.

And there are also those times when we discover that not everyone is such a good neighbor in the sister ’hood. But I’m not so interested in heading down that dark alley — at least not in today’s post.

Last week I had an amazing experience of joining a brand, spankin’ new BBF (Best Bitch Forever) to celebrate her birthday with a weekend away. Not only did I NOT know her so well, but she also brought along another half dozen women whom I’d never met, either.

The differences in our ages spanned as much as a couple of decades; we hailed from divergent places, had diverse life situations, interests, values, spiritual beliefs and orientations. read more

Bitch’in Life, Humor

10 Sure Signs You’re in Your Second Adolescence


Adolescence, as we all know, is a transitional stage from childhood to adulthood that’s marked by disruption, disorientation and discovery.

And as I recall it from the first time around, it also was exhilarating and soul crushing all at once. I mean, c’mon — did we learn nothing from The Breakfast Club?

Lately I’ve been having a bunch of feelings that I know I’ve felt before, and until I started poking around the Internets, I didn’t realize that a “second adolescence” is not only normal, but to be expected from people of a certain age.

Apparently it pops up in your 30s, 40s, 50s and whenever you retire.

This makes me feel better because I’d hate to be going through something without the camaraderie of my peers. (AHA! Another sure sign of adolescent behavior!)

Speaking of peers, I will say that astute readers of this here blog have noticed a trend of late, a certain inner wrassling that is spilling out into the world like a live-action diary cuz you know — the struggle is real. Literally, as in I’m getting in street brawls, screaming about reemergencies, refusing to age gracefully (unlike Cindy Crawford), scrawling To Don’t lists a mile long, and cursing out people for being mean to my fellow GenXers and me. read more

real first rule of fight club
Bitch’in Life

The Real First Rule of Fight Club


Everyone knows the first rule of Fight Club – you do not talk about Fight Club.

This is easy to keep to if you’re not much of a scrapper. Sure you might have the wayward fantasy of blasting someone with your lungs or your fists, but for the most part, at this stage, in this game, we keep it to ourselves.

After all, we have reputations to uphold, examples to make.

That is until you find yourself in a place where you can’t help but let it rip. And in recent weeks I have had not one but two Fight Club challenges that I couldn’t resist.

The first took place in the early morning at a Jamba Juice. I was rushing (as usual), and my daughter wanted to pick up a smoothie for a friend’s birthday. I jammed into a parking spot in front of the store, and my daughter and I hopped out with the intention of getting in and out quickly.

“You’re parked awfully close to me,” the guy in the spot next to me said. He was sitting in his truck, window opened as it waiting for someone… or maybe something. read more

Bitch’in Life, My Bitches

What to Do When You’re in a Reemergency


Reemergency: noun re·emer·gen·cy \re-i-ˈmər-jənt-sē\
1: an unforeseen combination of circumstances that transpire when trying to reinvent oneself and/or the resulting state that calls for immediate action.
2: an urgent need to revitalize and/or remake a situation, circumstance or general way of being.

I don’t often coin terms, but when I do… you know it’s something major.

For the last several months, I have been in a state of severe unrest. Restlessness. Like the ground is shifting, and I’m holding on for dear life, just trying to find my footing.

Problem is, I have no idea where to get even a toehold.

Maybe you’re feeling the same way? (As us people of a certain age are wont to do…)

Assuming you can relate, I’ll tell you a story or three about how reemergencies happen — so you know you’re not alone.

Let’s take a minute in the way back machine, all the way to the late 1990s, right about when my career at the time was peaking — I was on a corporate track that was about to lead to a dream job opportunity. Things were CLICKING. read more

love yourself
Bitch’in Life, Humor

69 Ways to Love Yourself


Love is in the air, and if you take a big, honkin’ sniff in, you might notice its scent of late smells a bit… familiar.

The tastemakers are at it again, and this time the person they’re telling you to love most of all is, well, yourself.

Maybe you’re not into Hailee Seinfeld, the actress/model/pop star who hashtagged the idea last summer (“Love Myself“) or perhaps you can turn away from the infectious groove of Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself— potentially a fuck-you to his ex, who is doing an impressive job of her own self-worship of late — but when the boy croons it, I’ll take it at face value.

Outta the mouths of babes, sure, but when you think about it, all they’re doing is quoting Kierkegaard (“Don’t forget to love yourself”), Rumi (“If I love myself / I love you, If I love you / I love myself”) and Lucille Ball (“Love yourself first and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”) — among others, amiright? read more

Bitch’in Life

So You Say You Want a Revolution? Here’s How to Start…


There is a revolution afoot, and I for one am super excited by all sides of the coin.

Politics aside, I am fully fascinated by how non-traditional, counterculture candidates on both ends of the spectrum are grabbing the spotlight and forwarding their rad(ical) agendas.

I mean, can you imagine a Republican presidential hopeful giving Fox News the virtual finger by refusing to appear on the Right’s de facto “news” channel?

And yet, that happened.

Or can you conceive of a world where an elderly white male is in a virtual tie with the first viable female candidate for president — and she’s the one who’s considered “the Establishment”? AND he’s a self-proclaimed socialist (well, democratic socialist) and that’s looking pretty damn viable as well?

Uh huh, that’s happening, too.

For the first time in a long time, I tuned in to watch the Iowa caucus results — and not just because the word “caucus” sounds dirty.

I am absolutely thrilled that such a large swath of this country is mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. read more

naked and afraid
Bitch’in Life, Humor

The Joy of Being Naked and Afraid


Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen The Revenant yet AND if you’ve never experienced a Korean spa scrub* before, then shield your eyes before reading this post. Feel free to peek between your fingers, though. 

Last week in the wake of several celebs kicking the bucket way too early (notably Bowie <<still weeping>>), I published a list of 50 things you must do NOW.  Not all of the numerical choices were intentional EXCEPT #11 — “Be naked more often.”

Because, you know, things are much better when they go to eleven.

Full disclosure: When I wrote the list, I had just made a plan with a brand, spankin’ new BBF (Best Bitch Forever) to visit a Korean spa, which is something that I’ve been wanting to do as long as I can remember.

That means all the way back to my college daze when I waitressed in a diner/Korean restaurant, and the ladies that did all the cooking and heavy-duty pan washing had hands as soft as a baby’s tush. When I asked what their secret was, they told me that it was all about the scrub. read more

life's too short
Bitch’in Life

Life’s Too Short, So Here Are 50 Things You Have to Do NOW


Life is a pickle on your plate.

Let me explain: I’m obsessed with really good pickles. That sour snap is something that I’ve loved since I was a wee sprite of a girl. As an adult, I’ll pay outrageous sums to get my paws on a killer jar of kosher dills.

That said, when I go to restaurants and order a burger or sandwich that comes with a pickle, I have a habit of leaving it for “dessert.” Best for last, and that kind of thing. But on many occasions that has really backfired. Either the server takes the plate away too soon, someone else grabs it and eats it before I can stop him/her, or worst of all, life interrupts and I have to leave before I finish that last bite.

Saving your proverbial pickle is not something that bodes well for the act of savoring life, which in the wake of some very profound losses of late — Natalie Cole, Lemmy Kilmister, Alan Rickman, Glenn Frey and <<triple sniff>> David Bowie — seems even sillier than, well, using a pickle on a plate as an analogy. read more