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the world is fcked so here's what we're gonna do
Best o’ the Bitch, Bitch’in Life

The World is F*cked, So Here’s What We’re Gonna Do


It’s almost Thanksgiving, and I would like to write a post that’s all about gratitude, and really getting into the spirit of the holiday, but before I can nod out into a tryptophan and red wine induced haze, I can’t help but wonder:

WTF, world?

The recent attacks in Paris, which left 129 dead and 433 wounded, were horrific on so many levels, but in particular because these heinous acts were aimed at people who were just going about their normal lives: eating, drinking, going to a concert, heading to a sports stadium to watch a France-Germany soccer match, walking down the bloody street.

Preceding that were the suicide bombings in Lebanon, where a pair of terrorists killed 43 and wounded 239 others in the Bourj al-Barajneh district in southern Beirut. This got less press, possibly because of the perception that Beirut is constantly under siege (for the record, it’s not — its civil war ended in 1990). While France got Facebook’s kick ass feature Safety Check activatedwhich allows people in a crisis area to check in and swiftly let their friends know they’re OK, Beirut didn’t have it available. read more


The Dog Days of Summer


The Dog Days of Summer are in full force, and there’s something about thermostats heading up over 100 that makes people feel like they need a break. Enter, moi — the Real Bitch in Suburbia — guest barker, er, blogger, this week. I figure that people could use a dose of common sense at the lowest time of the year, when the heat makes everyone feel like they’d like to lay down in the dirt and take a nap.

And that’s my first observation: as fellow mammals, you people don’t do near enough napping. Aren’t you tired? I like to take a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. Rest. Then maybe chew a shoe or sniff a butt if it’s available. Rest. Go see if there are any snacks available. Then take a nice, long nap. So delightful, so refreshing… you should try it sometime.


See, I just took one, right in the midst of writing this blog post! I’m like that. Crazy to some, so damn smart to others.

When you allow yourself to take a minute and sit on the couch with me, I feel the tension in your body drain as you absentmindedly stroke behind my ears or my belly. I love to watch your eyes close, even for a split second. Right then and there I can tell you’d like to lay down with me, wouldn’t you? But then you never do. You jump up, run around the house, and bounce off before I can say anything. And nobody even throws you a rubber ball or gives you a treat! What your motivation is, I’ll never know. read more