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the stupidest girl in the world
Bitch’in Life

The Stupidest Girl in the World

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Do I look stupid to you?

Before you answer that, allow me to give you a couple of instances when I’ve been mistaken for a bonehead.

As a college freshmen, I opted to go to school in Michigan, far away from anyone and anything I remotely recognized. On top of that, I decided that rather than do something that comes naturally to me — say, be an English or a Communications major — I decided to take on economics instead.

I like a good challenge, and also I thought studying econ in the ’80s would be “fun.”

That was actually sort of an idiot maneuver, since math is not my strong suit, and nobody, save perhaps Paul Krugman*, thinks economics is “fun.”

Thus I spent hours in the library (for U of M alums, the “UGLI”), studying my ass off.

With my Walkman cranked to 11, because I like my music loud and hard. Makes me think better.

A few weeks into the semester, I made my way to a party where there were a lot of cute guys. Much to my surprise, a few of them were pointing at me. read more

Bitch’in Life, My Bitches

The Big Chill

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Do people realize when something they do is a game changer? Did Madonna know that performing “Like a Virgin” on the first MTV Video Music Awards would become an iconic pop culture moment? When Apple launched the Macintosh did they realize they would change the way the world works? How about when Bob Geldof and Midge Ure formed Band Aid to raise money for Africa by singing, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Could they have predicted celebrities using their power to heal the world would one day be de rigueur?

1984 was a big year for game changers. And on a personal note, with hair as big as my dreams, I left for college. Within the first week, I met my BBFs, and through knowing them, nothing in my life has ever been the same.

This might sound dramatic, but how I ended up in the same dorm with them had a fair share of 18-year old drama anyways. Ms. Smartypants (yours truly) thought the world was her oyster, and all schools would beg to have her pearls of incomparable wisdom. Several rejections later, I was lucky enough to get into just one place: the University of Michigan. That probably had more to do with their desire for out-of-state tuition than anything else, but I took it. I knew nothing of the Midwest, and I chose Michigan not for its stellar academics, Big Ten sports, or any other normal reasons. I picked it because I liked The Big Chill, a movie most memorable for its portrayal of the death of post-collegiate dreams, the heaviness of adult responsibilities, the destructive nature of discontent, and of course, the power of lifelong friendships. This may seem to be an odd motivator for a teen, but deep down I always knew that suburban life’s quagmire was my milieu, so that sort of future wasn’t just inevitable (as it is for pretty much all of us), it was appealing. Anyways, after a brief landing in an all-girls dorm (the “Virgin Vault”), I transferred into the epicenter of debauchery and home of my soon-to-be BBFs, West Quad. read more