Browsing Tag

Amy Schumer

the funny thing about vaginas
Humor, Parenting

The Funny Thing About Vaginas

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I’m calling it here and now: 2016 is the Year of the Vagina.

We are in a post-modern vag-world now, y’all. Our nether region, once taboo in mainstream media, has become a pretty much daily staple, thanks to celebs like Kim Kardashian, whose Constagrammed cooze and serial spreading for mags is surely an inspiration to us all and Gwyneth Paltrow, who’s opened our eyes to the Mugworth V-Steam (“an energetic release — not just a steam douche…”) as a the “it” girl of spa treatments and homemade lube alike.

Although these bold illustrations surely indicate that penis envy is out, cooter coveting is in, the vaginal tipping point for me is the idea that periods are FINALLY FUNNY.

In one night I caught up on the Season 3 finale of Broad City and a recent episode (#4) of Inside Amy Schumer, and found a wealth of menstrual material.

First off, Broad City’s finale about BBFs Abbi and Ilana heading to Israel on a “Birthmark” (riff on Birthright) trip had a hashtag that said it all — #therewillbebLOOd. (Periods aside, there was a freakin’ hysterical joke about the “mohel chai” club, too.)  The two-part finale was essentially a running gag about menstruation that started with Ilana going through security wearing a Shark Tank-worthy innovation: period-stained pants that kept drug-sniffing dogs from finding the weed she was smuggling in her vagina, and ended with her fashioning a homemade tampon for Abbi from a pita and various other, uhm, inventive materials that was mistaken for a bomb.

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bitch'in 2015 year in review
BIS Sez, Bitch’in Life, My Bitches

Bitch’in 2015 Year in Review + Predictions for 2016

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Joy, happy, merry — are you feelin’ it today?

I certainly hope so, because 2015 was one helluva rollercoaster that went to 11… and beyond. Today is the perfect day to take a break and take stock in the year that was, with great hopes for the year that will be.

Allow me to stuff a few things into your stockings before we begin: gratitude for your eyeballs, love from the deep reaches of my bitch’in heart and fervent hopes that your dreams are being danced into fruition by sugarplum fairies and other beautiful things.

This past year was not for the meek, my bitches — everything was quaking, and I’m not just talking about Caitlyn trying to walk in heels at the ESPY’s — but the whole damn stratosphere seemed to turn upside down and sideways.

All I can say is this: it’s a good thing we have each other.

I like to think of my Bitch’in blog as a thermometer to take our collective temperature. And this year, the things that made us who we are are the things we gravitated toward most. Some years that kind of fortitude is exactly what the doctor ordered. (Well, that and apparently weed is what the doctor ordered in 2015 — so much legalizing, not so much criticizing!)

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