A long time ago, one of my BBFs blew my mind by casually mentioning that if you think about it, everything is history. Even what happened one fraction of a second ago — like reading this sentence — is now HISTORY.
Without getting too philosophical, all day every day there are countless endings. Some are minor and welcome (finished the last round of carpool, turning the vehicle off, heading into the house!) and some are big and major and it’s hard to believe they happen on just another normal day.
I had one of those big endings this week when a project I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of and that’s taken around three and a half years to create — a revolutionary CLICK LIT novel by Hillary Carlip called FIND ME I’M YOURS — launched. By “revolutionary,” I really mean that it’s changing the face of traditional publishing because it’s got brilliant original artwork and graphics, and is chock full o’ full of interactive elements like videos starring the romantic lead and 33 custom-designed websites jimmy-jammed to the hilt with web series, articles, pics, videos, etc.
Getting to this point involved a lot of personal development from this Bitch’in Suburbia, and along the way I found parts of me that I’d lost and didn’t know I was looking for.
The release date was a Monday, which is always a day of fresh starts (versus a Friday which is the end of the work week), so that symbolism wasn’t lost on me. Even as the champagne corks were poppin’ and the celebration was bumpin’, there was a sense of now what? in the air.
The morning after broke the same way all a.m.’s tend to do: fresh with new possibilities, dulled a bit from a slight hangover from all that had come from the night before. Or was it the years prior that added a bittersweet weight on that new day?
As a GenX parent — so steeped in the weight of each precious moment, so conscious of ages and phases and how the minute you adjust to one circumstance, it changes dramatically and you find yourself painfully aware of being knee-deep in the new — making the adjustment through the chaos of every new beginning being another beginning’s end (thank you, SemiSonic for those awesome and oh so apropos lyrics!) is a something I’ve become comfortable with. Ish. Comfortablish.
Still, it takes an effort to regroup and pivot toward the new opportunities out there. I know I have to remind myself to take a breath — a deep one that sucks in gratitude and blows out the desire to keep futzing, obsessing, and perfecting what is now officially done and over.
Also, I spend a lot of time lamenting the gerbil wheel of duty, obligation, and responsibility that grinds 24/7 and never lets up, so you never feel the satisfaction of anything having a well-defined beginning, middle, and an end. That is until you realize the delineation between what was and what’s next is actually up to you.
So if you see me pausing for a moment, just know I’m sucking in the grace of gratitude and pausing for a moment to celebrate what’s done. And then it’s time to move on with a spirit of enthusiasm and excitement. Because that’s the magic juice it takes to see any ending as a freshy fresh new start.
And my bitches, if you are looking for an awesome read that will knock your socks off and rub your feet cuz it’s that damn good, please check out that project I’ve just being going on about — Find Me I’m Yours. It’s just $6.49 — less than the price of a pumpkin latte and a gingerbread cake ball — and so much more satisfying!